Worst enemy

Fighting the self..

My worst enemy is my very self

The cause is not yet known to me

But I’ve never been tortured by anyone else as much as My own self is torturing me!

Too many battles inside me, and in the end I end up the loser.. One self of me wins the other self.

This goes on now and again, finding all excuses to give in to the self! After all I realise, It wasn’t worth giving in, but all in all, I can’t reverse anything! But in all, I never hate myself.. however much I hate this falling habit!

 

As a seemingly wise person, I resolve to avoid any occasion of that kind. But what reveals to me how weak I am, is the fact that I remember my commitment just after the next fall….So it is a vicious cycle of falling and forgetting and falling again!

 

Why is it that we fail to master the self and then try to master others? Why, human as we are, after falling very many times, don’t we reflect before barking at others when we see them fallen? Do we expect them to be extra-human? Or we are less human than them?
If we don’t hate ourselves after falling now and again, why don’t we reserve a little patience, love and tolerance when others fall, however much their falls could affect us? The reason why we do this all to ourselves, is just because we feel the “other self” is also ours and thus, whatever decision we make, affects us. To feel compassion for the other self which isn’t part of the selves within you, calls for an effort to look at the other as a self.. outside yourself which is subject to the same ups and downs.. the same battles as you go through with your own self(selves).

 

There is need to look at the other with the same eyes you use to look at yourself.. irrespective of their short comings or their strength. Once you reach this level, there is a common factor between the two of you which doesn’t permit you to hurt these others selves… thus.. living more humanly and more happily.

 

Kaloys 2013

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